Hungry Monkey

A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball. 

The bartender said "Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!! GET OUT NOW!!" the man left. 

Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it" 

The bartender said " Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it?" 

The man says "Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size"

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