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Jokes 'n Fun Joke-O-Matic

At Jokes 'n Fun.com we're constantly adding to our Master Joke List, which we keep hidden in the Joke Vault, safe from prying eyes. Then we realized how stupid that was, and we came up with the Joke-O-Matic to solve that problem. The Joke-O-Matic serves our jokes up a few at a time, nice and neat- no muss, no fuss. There are currently over 5,000 jokes in the Joke-O-Matic. To get more jokes just click the "More jokes please!" button below. You can also browse our jokes by category if you prefer.

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A man comes home from work, sits in his lazyboy in front of the TV and rudely tells his wife, 'Gimme a beer before it starts.'

She gives him his beer.

About 15 minutes later, he says again, 'Gimme a beer before it starts.'

She does.

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In the days of old sailing ships the captain of the Seahawk went out on deck to get some fresh air, when from above a cry came down from the crow's nest: "Enemy ship off the port bow!" The captain said to the ensign standing next to him, "Get me my red shirt. & . . .

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The phone rings in the maternity ward. Upon answering, the duty midwife is told by a man "Mrs Jones is about to give birth, her contractions are just 3 minutes apart!"

The midwife asks "Is this her first Child?"

Bemused, the man says "No, . . .

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