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Category: Miscellaneous
On the sixth day God turned to the Archangel Gabriel and said, "Today I am going to create a land called Canada. It will be a land of outstanding natural beauty, with majestic mountains, beautiful pristine lakes bountiful with carp and trout, forests full of elk and moose, high cliffs overlooking sandy beaches with an abundance of sea life, and scenic rivers stocked with salmon."

God continued, "I shall make the land rich in oil so the inhabitants prosper, and t . . .
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In Jerusalem, a female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Wailing Wall
and there he was!

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave,
she approached him for an interview. "I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how
long have you been coming to the Wall and praying?"
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An FBI agent is interviewing a bank teller after the same bandit had robbed the bank 3 times successively.

"Did you notice anything special about the man? I mean, did he ever change his appearance?" asks the agent.

"Yes," replies the teller. "He was better dressed each time."


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An American tourist visited a small town in Spain.

The residents had never seen an American before, so he was treated as an honoured guest at the hotel.

Dinning for the first night, he asked the waiter what he recommended for dinner.

He suggested the "cojones".

The tourist asked what they were and the waiter replied, "Those are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today."

He was shocked but agreed to try them after be . . .
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Two guys were out joy riding when the driver ran a red light. His friend complained, and the driver said "Don`t worry, that's the way my brother drives."

Later the driver ran another red light and again his friend complained, and again the driver distinctly replied "Don't worry! that`s the way my brother drives!"

A few miles down the road the driver comes to a green light and comes to a complete stop. His friend looked over in utter dismay and . . .
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Four U.S. Presidents are caught in a tornado, and off they spin to OZ. After threatening trials and tribulations, they finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard.

"What brings you before the great and powerful Wizard of Oz? What do you want?"

Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly, "I had a terrible time with Iran, so I've come for some courage."

"No problem!" says the Wizard, "Who is next?"

. . .
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A team of sociologists have planned an experiment in isolation. They send an American, a Frenchman and a Japanese man to a deserted island, and arrange to come back and pick them up in a years time to see how they have adapted. The sociologists leave, and the three men decide to split up the tasks amongst themselves.

"I'm an engineer" says American, "So I'll handle building a shelter". He turns to the Frenchman and says: "You French are pr . . .
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An old man was eating in a truck stop when three bikers walked in.

The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the din . . .
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The warden of the prison walked into Death Row and stopped in front of one of the cells.

He said to the inmate, "I'm sorry but the Governor has rejected your plea for clemency and the execution will have to go forward. Do you have any last wishes or requests?"

The prisoner thought a moment and he said, "I would like to do the Macarena one last time before I die."

They agreed that this was a reasonable last request. He stopped in front of a . . .
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One afternoon a carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize that he had lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump.

"No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes," the carpet layer said to himself. So, he got out his hammer and flattened the hump.

As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. "Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes . . .
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