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Category: Crazy Jokes
Some members of a health club were having their first meeting. The director of the group said, "Now, I'd like each of you to give the facts of your daily routine."

Several people spoke, admitting their excesses, and then one obviously overweight member said, "I eat moderately, I drink moderately, and I exercise frequently."

"Hmm?" said the manager. "And are you sure there is nothing you over-indulge in?"

"Well, . . .
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A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."
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Three guys were working on a high rise building project: Steve, Bill and Charlie. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.

As the ambulance takes the body away, Charlie says, "Someone should go and tell his wife."

Bill says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." 2 hours later, he comes back carrying a 6-pack.

Charlie says, "Where did you get that, Bill?"

"Steve's wife gave it to me. . . .
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A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?" The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
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A young man from the city went to visit his farmer uncle. For the first few days, the uncle showed him the usual things - chickens, cows, crops, etc. After three days, however, it was obvious that the nephew was getting bored, and the uncle was running out of things to amuse him with.

Finally, the uncle had an idea. "Why don't you grab a gun, take the dogs, and go shooting?"

This seemed to cheer the nephew up, and with enthusiasm, off he went, dogs in tr . . .
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Sven was going for his morning walk one day when he walked past Ole's house and saw a sign that said "Boat For Sale."

This confused Sven because he knew that Ole didn't own a boat, so he finally decided to go in and ask Ole about it.

"Hey Ole," said Sven, "I noticed da sign in your yard dat says 'Boat For Sale,' but ya don't even have a boat. All ya have is your old John Deere tractor and combine."

Ole replie . . .
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A woman gets on a bus holding her baby.

"That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen," says the bus driver.

In a huff, the woman slams her fare into the box and takes an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her senses her agitation and asks what's wrong.

"The bus driver insulted me!" she shouts.

The man replies, "Well, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult pass . . .
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A screenwriter came home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly singed wife was standing outside. "What happened, honey?" the man asked.

"Oh, John, it was terrible," she wept. "I was cooking when the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn't notice the stove had caught on fire. It went up in seconds. Everything is gone. All our family pictures were destroyed. Yearbooks, trophies... I nearly didn't make it out . . .
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From a passenger ship, everyone can see a thin bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.

"Who is it on that island?" a passenger asks the captain.

"I have no idea... but every year when we pass, he goes nuts like that."
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Sad News! It's always difficult to bring sad news but I think everyone should know that there was a great loss in the entertainment world.

The man that wrote the "Hokey Pokey" died.

What's really horrible was they had trouble keeping the body in the casket. They'd put his left foot in......well, you know the rest...
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