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Category: Sports
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as they walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."

The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
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A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in.

After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon. He noticed a film like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather, "are these plates clean?"

His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal".

That afternoon, while eati . . .
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A man is walking down the street when he sees a sign in the window of a travel agency that says CRUISES - $100. He goes into the agency and hands the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him over the head with a baseball bat and throws him in the river.

Another man is walking down the street a half hour later, sees the sign and pays the guy $100. The travel agent then whacks him with the baseball bat and throws him in the river.

Sometime later, the two men are floating . . .
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"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife Tracy.

"Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I
couldn't see where the ball went."

"But you're seventy-five years old, Jack!" admonished his wife,
"Why don't you take my brother Scott along?"

"But he's eighty-five and doesn't even play golf anymore,"
protested Jack.

"But he's got perfect . . .
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It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic feel for the music.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.9: United States 5.5: Ireland 6.0

Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd clapping, but is not tech . . .
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Three athletes were standing in line waiting to enter the Olympic Village. The first guy is carrying a discus, and he walks up to the guard and says, "Soviet Discus Team." The guard says "pass".

The second guy is carring a vaulting pole, and he walks up to the guard and says, "East German Pole Vaulting Team." The guard says "pass".

The third guy is carrying a rolled up chain-link fence on his shoulder, he walks up to the guard a . . .
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Our story begins at the Olympics, specifically the wrestling event. It is narrowed down to the Russian or the American for the gold medal.

Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "Now don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this "pretzel" hold he has. Whatever you do, don't let him get you in this hold! If he does, you're finished!"

. . .
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Golfer: "I've played so poorly all day; I think I'm going to go drown myself in that lake."
Caddy: "I doubt you could keep your head down that long."

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven. You've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: "Well, I have never played this badly before!
Caddy: "I didn't realize you had played before, sir.&qu . . .
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Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly toward the same water hazard. It landed right in the centre of the pond and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on t . . .
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A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen
many books on the subject, and finally, after
getting all the necessary "tools" together,
she made for the nearest frozen body of water.

After positioning her comfy footstool, she
started to make a circular cut in the ice.

Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE
ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Startled, the blonde moved further down the ice,
poured a Thermos of cappuccin . . .
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